Part 18: Creepy Korean Horror Movie Hour
It's time for your free entertainment and/or possibly informative read!Chapter 18 - Creepy Korean Horror Movie Hour
LITERALLY, IN A SAFE. I MEAN LITERALLY REALLY.
President: "Don't you know? They called themselves the Cetra, and lived thousands of years ago. Now they are just a forgotten page in history."
President: "Cetra, or the Ancients will show us the way to the 'Promised Land.' I'm expecting a lot out of her."
President: "It's been said the Promised Land is very fertile."
Hojo: ...WE WILL MAKE IT BREED!SHUT UP HOJO GO AWAY
You know, I don't get what is the "end" of that plan. It's not like they don't own the whole world already. So they want to own the world for less time by making it die faster?
President: "The abundant Mako will just come out on its own."Anyway he keeps on rambling about Neo-Midgar and how all you need to do things is money.
What a dick move.
So it's Cloud... and Tifa in the same room, all alone.
Of course, Cloud doesn't care.
I imagine everything Barret says in Adam Baldwin's voice.
Red XIII doesn't give a fuck.
Hojo deeply laments that.
It's like the game has to bash this plot point in your face.
Which, let's face it, is much better than inserting an "Encyclopedia" with a "Mako" entry in it and hope the player will read it to immerse himself in your crappy, horribly explained "plot".
Yeahhh no, Barret.
What a brilliant idea, I don't see how this can go wrong.
Then again there's nowhere to go lower than being in a jail as the most wanted fugitives, probably awaiting execution.
Hahahaha.
Let's wonder how Red is doing.
Welp.
Tifa is the saddest case of a person being permanently friend-zone in the history of video-games.
Seriously, how humiliating can this be to the poor girl?
It's like a kick in the metaphorical balls.
I mean, really.
Yes Aeris, good thing you hadn't start the dirty talk.
That is the million gil question isn't it?
Welp, so much for being a Cetra.
Aerisu: "All I know is... the Cetra were born from the Planet, speak with the Planet, and unlock the Planet." Earith: "The Cetra will return to the Promised Land. A land that promises supreme happiness."
Tifa: "What does that mean?" エアリス: "More than words... I don't know."
That is it, our members are all going insane.
"That's what my mom said."
I can see how that would suck if you got annoying crazy parents.
After you talk to everyone that's what you get. There's nothing you can do to get out, so...
So let's get some sleep.
Noticed anything different?
HOLY SHIT THE DOOR IS OPEN
This music starts playing as you wake up. If you've never played the game, I recommend you play it.
It gives this entire sequence a MUCH creepier vibe.
That's right, the guard is dead.
Anyway, we get the key from the guard and open the other cells.
Even though I've played the game many times, I think this is still the only part that really creeps me, probably because of the music.
Yeah I think Shinra is the least of our problems here buddy.
Jesus Christ, look at that blood.
I mean, imagine that headless thing opening the door of your cell and staring at you while you sleep.
And they say the Slender Man is creepy.
You know what is creepier than everybody dead? The fact the random encounters in this area are bizarre Hojo experiments... and you don't get the battle theme, that creepy music I linked plays uninterruptedly.
They also use terrifying sound effects for their status ailment attacks.
There is a huge trail of blood all the way up here. I'd watch a horror movie about Jenova escaping.
Look at these marks on the wall.
This is our first time on the 69th floor, so I thought I'd show you the, uh, scenery.
An interesting detail is that you can take the elevator to the 69th floor but there's no elevator in the 68 and 67 floor. I find this an amusing attention to detail - no one wants people randomly entering the crazy-ass lab and looking at the horrible abominations Hojo creates.
What doesn't make sense is how close these horrible, toxic experiments are to the president and to other relatively normal activities instead of being buried in a desert base.
Anyway we go up to the top floor, following the trail...
HOLY CARP
I TOLD YOU IT WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA
SHIT IS GETTING REAL AGAIN
Well if it isn't Palmer, the NPC no one remembers the name.
And he was voiced by Gackt-sama~~~
Cloud: "It's not that simple! I know him! Sephiroth's mission is different!"Well this is where things start to get confusing.
Rufus is the son of the president. Thus, the new president.
We can talk to the other party members to hear their
And he doesn't seem to give a fuck that his dad just died.
Next Time:
Monologues! Spoiled Heirs! Unnecessary Boss Fights! WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!
Awesome Music We've listened to in this Update:
Trail of Blood - A very appropriate name for a very appropriate music.
Chapter 18 - Bugs & Bytes
The Shinra Crew
I was gonna use this as the traditional "end of update" picture, but I decided to use it to explain the Shinra crew a bit more.
From Left to Right:
President Shinra, Scarlet, Heidegger, Hojo, Palmer and Reeve.
Scarlet - Head of Weapons Development. It's the chick who noticed "something stinks" during the meeting.
Heidegger - Head of Military Department, or, as its called, "Public Safety". Heidegger and Scarlet are somewhat close for obvious reasons. Heidegger is the asshole who dresses in green.
Hojo - Head of Science Research Department. I don't think he needs any more introduction at this point and time.
Palmer - Head of the Space Program. He is the fat guy whom we just found hiding from Sephiroth.
Reeve - Head of Urban Development. The only guy who didn't seem like a complete asshole and who opposed the decisions taken by the President so far, who in turn told him to "take some days off".
